Inhospitable Bed

by LICKI UCROJ

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  • Immediate download of 6-track album in your choice of high-quality MP3, FLAC, or just about any other format you could possibly desire.

    part two, Ghetto University, and part three, P****/CAT, coming soon

     

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03:20
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04:13
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about

Part 1/3 of THE CARPET MIXTAPES, an eighteen-track, autobiographical series inspired by events surrounding the emotional derision, mental division, and subsequent personality revisions of Lauren Neal, aka LICKI UCROJ.

credits

released 04 September 2012
Concept and lyrics by LICKI UCROJ

Mixing and mastering by Jack of Co.Z
Supplemental mixing by LICKI UCROJ

Additional vocals and melodic composition by Haviland Stillwell
Additional vocals and lyrics by Jack of Co.Z

Inhospitable inspiration: A.D., MD., CocoRosie, Coldplay


[CompanyZ.bandcamp.com]
[GetJacked.bandcamp.com]
[GetCoZ.bandcamp.com]
[JackAndMadPsyence.bandcamp.com]

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about

LICKI UCROJ Los Angeles, California

LICKI UCROJ is a performance raptor: rapper, writer, solo performer, and apprentice to master ripper Jack of Co.Z.

THE CARPET MIXTAPES are a precursor to her memoir (CARPET: or, how DD's, MD's, and universiD's left me sleeping on the floor), which will be shockingly honest, heartbreakingly hilarious, and generally like nothing you've ever before read.
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Track Name: Drug Doctor
(hearts are resilient. this is true in medicine too.
sometimes this happens and someone's heart stops.
she can be dead for a few minutes and they can bring her back to life.
she has another chance to love. i have seen this more than once.)

so let's fuck (the special effects, the pretense around sex,
the fact i can't label you "ex"): i sleep but i get no rest
let's get freaky in the dark! feed the picnic to the sharks!
then leave me freezing in the park! this is just performance art!

i'm just an actor: PERFORMANCE RAPTOR! T-REX!
i want you to want me just for meaningless sex
i want your toxic wasted taste, yes?
someone to share showers and fluids and toothpaste and the rest

leave the cap off, clip it in my brain:
a bullet to the head well describes this pain
i don't want you to love me back, love kills
i just Kanye shrug off: Atlas back, Rand will
i want to think about you every single day!
i wanna need your help in every single way!
i wanna believe that you're a really good lay!
and i wanna fake that everything's A-okay!

it's just performance art, i'm not even rappin
none of this is true, none of it really happened
i’m just playin a part, i’m a terrible actor
none of this is true, none of it really happened

i wasn't raped on the streets of LA
i didn't call you from the hospital to hear you say
"lauren who?" cuz my phone wasn't in evidence
no memorizing your number: irrelevant!
i spent two years on you for the hell of it
we all know your name but i'm not tellin it
you hear me say "help"? i was yellin it!
fine, then i'll write this shit in a book... and i'm sellin it

cuz you know i'm mad rich, scratchin a bad itch
spent all my time on a fad, bitch
spent all my time on a fad, bitch
can i get some attention? i want some fuckin attention!
pop the Ambien and let's put a dent in!
are you fucking repentin? now i'm like wine, fermentin

give a girl a drink, she lose the will to think
and she'll need some rhymes to go with it
give a doctor your heart, she'll take it apart,
and she'll leave some shrapnel bits in it

shrapnel bitches, rap and bitches, wrapped in bitches
bitches and rap and bitches enrapt in bitches: shrapnel, bitches!
this is the facts: no snitches fictitious! what is this?!
mappin fat witches to Nixon!
nothin left mixin here for you worth fixin
in fact i'm pretty sure it's fiction -- addiction -- and not even you, bitch, that i'm missin

it's just performance art, i'm not even rappin
none of this is true, none of it really happened
i’m just playin a part, i’m a terrible actor
none of this is true, none of it really happened

this drugged doctor fucked up cuz i knocked her
pills off the dresser when i rocked her
killer numb feeling when i shocked her
finger on a trigger like i'm cocked, yessir
not over you cuz i'm still not sure
sittin around waitin like i'm docked hurr
stuck like a middle school locker
cold shoulders just get me hot (burrrrn)

so next time i decide to die and then come back to life
i’ll walk streets unshy, dry eyes, and i’ll be carryin a knife
i’ma cut off his balls and while you’re bystandin (what gall)
i’ll plant ‘em between your legs where shit grows ripe

even then i hope you can still sprint to your car
and then i hope you’re admitted quickly to the ER
cuz when i said i’d always care it meant i’d never mar
this shit we had with thoughts of “she’s hard up in the hospital, should i see her?”
Track Name: Waiting Room (featuring Haviland Stillwell)
this is for everyone with too many words and no one to give them to
so they keep you up at night
and if you're like me and you can't sing i give you permission
to sling words, hurl bells (ring!), wake 'em up
sting 'em til they give a fuck about you
impossible's never true
fling your poetry 'til your face is blue
this song
is still about you


when you try your best but you don't succeed
i'm just waiting to get better
when you get what you want but not what you need
tell me: should i be afraid of me?
when you feel so tired but you can't sleep
i'm just waiting to get better
stuck in reverse
and the tears come streaming down your face
i'm just waiting to get better
when you lose something you can't replace
tell me: should i be afraid of me?
when you love someone but it goes to waste
i'm just waiting to get better
could it be worse?

in one night, jaded: standin upright
to hastily wasted
in this space waitin Patient for the sight
of trauma satiated
"see me! abate this! " i prayed it. and had faith. shit.
your absence is abrasive
mouth still spittin out this taste in it
white walls stained with my perpetual plight
and i hate it
you're evasive. i'm incubated. frightened
with breath bated
visitation rights are only for the wife
and we never dated
still
woulda been more than nice
if you'd have made it

and i will try
i'm just waitin to get better
to fix you

in and out of class, years passed
i didn't notice
i asked, "you love me?" exasped
you said, "focus."
there's nothin i won't miss.
each new love's a cold kiss,
bad blood, bad breath, halitosis.
an excuse to relapse feelin hopeless,
rhyming crass and too fast: roadrunning's
how i blast the urge to stay broken.
aghast, i purge. Hell, i already wrote this.
it's no miracle remedy, no hocus pocus
i'll have to ask myself just... who's the hostess
of this calamity and why can't we co-exist?
you're the doctor, you tell me. i paid my fee.
diagnosis this.
cuz

i'm just waiting to get better
tell me: should i be afraid of me?

in Spanish "take care" is "cuidate" bitch.
mind panicked i ravage cabinets
in aftermath damage, liquor wreaking havoc
on quilted fabric of past not built to last:
drastically disastrous.
heart bypassed, sickness moves south: gastric
the moment's past, trick.
i asked, pick me pick me pick me.
thank god you didn't so i could write this lick, see
it's just the art that keeps my skin thick, believe
even with my heart on it there's tricks up this sleeve
i'm not like the movies
at the end of this fantasy
kitty cat's no pussy
my beauty turns beast

when you try your best but you don't succeed
i'm just waiting to get better
when you get what you want but not what you need
tell me: should i be afraid of me?
when you feel so tired but you can't sleep
i'm just waiting to get better
stuck in reverse
and the tears come streaming down your face
i'm just waiting to get better
when you lose something you can't replace
tell me: should i be afraid of me?
when you love someone but it goes to waste
i'm just waiting to get better
could it be worse?


lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
lights will guide you home
and i will try
i will try
to fix you

i will try
to fix you
to fix you

you said, "there are things you are afraid of, most of them won't happen,"
true cuz were you wrappin me in love i wouldn't be rappin
i'm afraid of my pillow, i'm afraid of sleep
the day heals but you're there to break my heart in a dream
i'm afraid of future, i'm afraid of dad's disease
i'm afraid i'll get everything i want and nothin i need
i'm afraid to recuperate halfway, with no feeling
not afraid to die but can't live forever unhappily
"some of them might happen, you will probably cry if they do"
sometimes people die, it's stupid but why i say "i love you"
"and then i'll tell you what happens, you cry a whole lot" i do!
i did! bought Kleenex stock to mop the snot
"and the next thing is you get up"
no matter how rough
"and start over"

lights will guide you home

(there are things you are afraid of. most of them wont happen. some of them might happen. you will probably cry if they do. this is what has happened to me a bunch of times. then ill tell you what happens. you cry a lot and then the next thing is you get up and start over.)
Track Name: I Am Pretty (featuring Jack of Co.Z)
i dunno bout the 212 cunt
rantin bout inanimate objects: bluntly
speakin Licki eat little piggy rap runts
don't do this for a living so fuck a number one.

when i get ahead we're not friends
i'ma lady, you tramps slurp spaghetti
when i'm gettin head i'm all zen
your sloppy Joe pussy a contentless pot crocked on basic Bettys

you all domestic bitches, even Aladdin cookin with jasmine.
i'ma confess this shit is stupid, All-American fads that win:

lovin pussy's a sin.
VNasty in prison.
taxing Lauryn.
you got beef wit Lil' Kim.
oh. yeah. and. your shit YouTube vid hit a million.

violence at the hands of men? six in ten.
i'm talkin other trends. i love Eminem
but y'all taught me how women hate women.
then. ain't i allowed to say somethin?

I don't wanna not be me to be pretty, get to know me
It's Licki wit Jacked, now Get Co.Z
I don't have to not be me to be pretty, get to know me
It's Licki wit Jacked, now Get Co.Z

i am pretty; super fit, see? i am witty, and licking gets me paidand i pity any girl not eating me tonight

rah rah i ain't no dungeon dragon
rah rah i ain't no dungeon dragon
ha ha more like a wolf in a cabin
eatin little red hoods and leavin 'em to madmen
rah rah i ain't no dungeon dragon
rah rah i ain't no dungeon dragon
ha ha more like a wolf in a cabin
eatin little red hoods and leavin 'em to madmen
Maria, i just met a girl named Maria
there was Nina (a squealer), and Lena
now: Azaelia, Xtina, Rihanna
and Bieber. what? that pretty face got a peener??
then Aaliyah, a ghost but i still feel her

I don't wanna not be me to be pretty, get to know me
It's Licki wit Jacked, now Get Co.Z
I don't have to not be me to be pretty, get to know me
It's Licki wit Jacked, now Get Co.Z

i am pretty; super fit, see? i am witty, and licking, gets me paidand i pity any girl not eating me tonight

I'm trying sell the raps but all these crackahs see is white
Is he more like Mac Miller or Marshal Mathers on the mic
Can we boil that too crack, can we package that right
Can we lie about the facts, and just buy up all the hype?

And feed em all the lies, like "freedoms on the rise"
It's okay to be gay on bravo from 3 to 9
But you can't both be wives, and you can't both be husbands
A husband can cheat on a wife though cause who doesn't

You learned it from the media, or maybe from your family
Get a primary less bias source, compare the three
Listen, and make your own fucking decision
Or be the man the man tells you be in submission

If you can't take heat then get the fuck out the the kitchen
Yes I'm bitchin but can you see the big picture I'm stichin
If these informants are criminals I gotta be snitching
They control your world, can you catch the drift I'm pitching

I deal the truth, I think it's illegal
They make more money off less informed people
Here's the Church, here's the steeple
And the people outside are different, call 'em evil

Now companies are taken over, as religion breaking so your
Daughters getting making over,
while you're eating bacon over steak over fake ass bullshit crap
Then you go and ask God why you're fat

(damn. Jack..)
Sorry bout that

You hear about Nicki, but not about Licki
Is she too gay cause she admit she lick clitty?
No, we think Azaelia and Kreayshawn are pretty
But Lauren just ain't the dumb bitch type witty
Marketing is shitty, she should hire Diddy
But he would pimp her out like JT wit janet's titty

I don't wanna not be me to be pretty, get to know me
It's Licki wit Jacked, now Get Co.Z
I don't have to not be me to be pretty, get to know me
It's Licki wit Jacked, now Get Co.Z

i am pretty; super fit, see? i am witty, and licking, gets me paidand i pity any girl not eating me tonight


rah rah i ain't no dungeon dragon
rah rah i ain't no dungeon dragon
ha ha more like a wolf in a cabin
eatin little red hoods and leavin 'em to madmen
rah rah i ain't no dungeon dragon
rah rah i ain't no dungeon dragon
ha ha more like a wolf in a cabin
eatin little red hoods and leavin 'em to madmen
Track Name: Super Basic
this song is dedicated to a girl
i pretended to love
Licki Ucroj
she'll probably like... write a song about it or something
i hope it sucks.
it'll probably suck.

um, ok, so i'm twenty five, i'm pretty fly,
i'ma doc but pills got my brain all fried
couldn't tell you quite if i'm dead or alive
took eight years to complete my 'college try'
it'd do me somethin right to get some exercise
life-size Buddha look-alike, masquerading wise
lips say "love you," smizing eyes reveal lies
this affair's got rules, and you gotta comply

Licki little lady nothing good comes free
sad for you cuz you ain't got much money
when i take you out please save no receipts
can't have a paper trail followin, see?
and so basically i'm just doin me
sometimes you cuz, damn. you sexy!
you'll have lots of loves soon and forget about me
whachu mean "how?" c'mon now, be easy.

i send a lotta secret e-mails but erase them
nobody'll ever know that i'm chasin
Licki pussy clean
Licki pussy squeaky
fuck pills everytime she in my bed i'm tweakin
and it's the weekend
and she a freak then
girlfriend outta town, snitches leakin but i'ma peek in
bed sheets seeping
we getting deep in
ain't the one i'm plannin on keeping but i'm geekin!

omg i love you Licki, i really do
but 1+1 girlfriends equals, um... two!
and okay maybe nothing i ever said was true
but i was just doing me, and now, mewithoutYou

i think i'm Beyoncé: i'ma (i'ma) diva
nah just a con artist: Frida
coupla bitches might call me cheater
why bother with love? this so much cheaper
i give great advice. wholly preacher.
biggest competition's a kindergarten teacher
basically a (twenty)five year old attention seeker
Licki whines 'bout me? god, don't believe her

did i deceive her? eh. minor detail
never held a real job; i work retail:
buy gullible females on presale
send cute snail mail to nail
a jail 'round a pale heart so stale
it's frail: a hole-y grail.
done. derailed.
you blind? BAIL. dot dot dot.
that's "you failed" in Braille.
don't pick up the phone. i'm unavail.

i send a lotta secret e-mails but erase them
nobody'll ever know that i'm chasin
Licki pussy clean
Licki pussy squeaky
fuck pills everytime she in my bed i'm tweakin
and it's the weekend
and she a freak then
girlfriend outta town, snitches leakin but i'ma peek in
bed sheets seeping
we getting deep in
she ain't the one i'm plannin on keeping but i'm geekin!

omg i love you Licki, i really do
but 1+1 girlfriends equals, um... two!
and okay maybe nothing i ever said was true
but i was just doing me, and now, mewithoutYou

i always have very vivid dreams when i travel
you are in everyone one of them
i'm watching you livid, not stopping the unravel
but dammit i'm sorry i just wanna be friends
i'll fix this (i'll fix this)
don't you miss this? (would you still kiss this?)
i miss you, i hope you're well
but every night you remember me at all will be hell
i'll write you a postcard, i'll send you the news
from the house down the road from choosing not to choose
you're not the one i want, not the one for me
guess i'm sorry i lied, more sorry you believed
just how long are you gonna stand here and plead?
i have a gift card to j. crew, there are some things i need
your fate's sick: i can't cure any dis-ease
it's basic: no place for you, sweetpea; you have to leave

i send a lotta secret e-mails but erase them
nobody'll ever know that i'm chasin
Licki pussy clean
Licki pussy squeaky
fuck pills everytime she in my bed i'm tweakin
and it's the weekend
and she a freak then
girlfriend outta town, snitches leakin but i'ma peek in
bed sheets seeping
we getting deep in
she ain't the one i'm plannin on keeping but i'm geekin!

omg i love you Licki, i really do
but 1+1 girlfriends equals, um... two!
and okay maybe nothing i ever said was true
but i was just doing me, and now, mewithoutYou
Track Name: Siren Song
now i lay me down to sleep
the Lord i pray my soul to keep
if i should die before i wake
i pray the Lord my soul to take

in your bed i'm sick
of my head i'm sick
not dead yet, stupid, just licked
Lauren's term might end
exterminate her
little friend
take the fumigator
and then
tonight's for
wine and dine and dyin
rhymes designed to pine for
the stars to align
i never sleep tight
put up with all but can't put up a fight
the bugs the drugs the love
they all bite

i'ma shake you off though
get up on that horse
ride into the sunset
look back with no remorse
there's no point to sleeping
bed bugs drug horizontal
mistook sex and blood for love
the Lord would never take this soul

my glass fillin cost my vision
at the alter of frothy religion
hittin Casper ceilings
causes frost-driven, frozen meaning
jaws believin
they can unpause the thaw
and heal me
cursed so i'm the rawest livin
verses the rawest written
lips pursed, they lost all feelin
but swore first not to give in
reverse what God's willing
disperse the shots at women
devices lost to botched decisions
posh vices? i flock to 'em

self-made villain
cold-blooded ego killin
bone chillin
mind's laws keep me imprisoned
in prison
lions tigers bearing kittens
all sick, shit. i've been bitten
licking wounded mittens
all my wires crossed within and
spit's unholy water washin children tossed
a million from milk carton coalition
am i forgiven? for goin missin?
been sloshed from the beginning

i'ma shake you off though
get up on that horse
ride into the sunset
look back with no remorse
there's no point to sleeping
bed bugs drug horizontal
mistook sex and blood for love
the Lord would never take this soul

how should i presume?
again.
how should i presume?
again.
how should i presume to end?
how should i begin again?
how should i presume?
again.
how should i presume?
again.
how should i presume to end?
how should i begin again?

i'ma shake you off though
get up on that horse
ride into the sunset
look back with no remorse
there's no point to sleeping
bed bugs drug horizontal
mistook sex and blood for love
the Lord would never take this soul

broken sundown fatherless showdown
gun hip swollen lip bottle sip yeah i suck dick
lose grip on gravity falls sky blinding crumbling walls
river sweep away my memories of
children’s things a young mother’s love
before the yearning song of flesh on flesh
young hearts burst open wounds bleed fresh
a young brother skinny and tall my older walks
oceanward and somber, slumber sleeping
flowers in the water,
but i’m just his daughter
walking down an icy grave
leading to my schizophrenic father
weeping willow won’t you wallow louder
searching for my father’s power
Track Name: Tomb...or, Raiders of the Lost Heart
ain't a single white female rapping like this
spitting back the poison of an attacker's kiss
my thesis a call to hold myself up by my own wrists
prematurely miss the one man who always held me in his
still break my neck trying but i just can't die
actions speak louder but i'm paralyzedbone tired, sun comes and stunned, i can't rise
tongue tingling, not fun: these life-long lungs on fire

they call me smokey taboo
i got your name tattooed
high like a helium balloon
midnight to noon
i'm a desert child
and mountains make me nauseous

still posturing fetal, baby, i'm crying "world"
no frills. life is fostering Daddy's girl
Will's bothering: "Baby, try to unfurl!"
what's real's if Daddy's dying then i'm a dying girl

this song's all self-medicating the wrongs
i'm Righting then dedicating long
to my father to levitate him. Mom
alone? The thought's devastating. GONE.
life's work just relegated from calm
to pawn. (k)nights? race to evade them.
and we're too proud to ever debate it.
so i rap gifts just so i could say this:
repeat fond words until i can take it
no wand's magic can keep me breaking
dawn on days i regret my waking. yawn,
and smile. the feat is faking.
oh, little Lawn
that's my name and
he's my core and he is shaken.
that's the lesson-making:
do everything right. and. Life will quake it.

i like to look up wild at an infinite sky
twinkling with diamonds
it's true i get depressed in fancy hotel rooms
undressed with nothing to flaunt but my loneliness
thinking of the night song of your hair
premature as evening falls it calls to me
interrupted by the sirens in the street

this song's all self-medicating the wrongs
i'm Righting then dedicating long
to my father to levitate him. Mom
alone? The thought's devastating. GONE.
life's work just relegated from calm
to pawn. (k)nights? race to evade them.
and we're too proud to ever debate it.
so i rap gifts just so i could say this:
REPEAT FOND WORDS UNTIL I CAN TAKE IT
no wand's magic can keep me breaking
dawn on days i regret my waking. yawn,
and smile. the feat is faking.
oh, little Lawn
that's my name and
he's my core and he is shaken.
that's the lesson-making:
do everything right. and. Life will quake it.

somedays you're like an anchor on my heart
they say that stolen water tastes sweet
more like rotten milk and rancid meat to me
i prefers when it is free
like looking at the stars
don't need no fancy cars
when we first
our kisses sparked
yeah i'm afraid of sharks
but not the dark

you did the music thing
and i would never sing
wanted to be good enough not to be embarrassing
i hit the lottery
knowing that you're proud of me
this is me on ground, not floundering
the sound of things not going how we wanted them
is paper thin
in my mind it was a win
and you?
i am you.

5. 8. 11. 22. 27. 32.